Nothing mattered more to me than connecting with girls and kissing them when I was a cute little boy. In public, my tyrannical father ridiculed and mistreated me despite my acts or words. I felt deeply sad and devastated. He wants me to be mentally ill and believes that I must watch my words and actions closely since terrible things will happen if I don't. He had me baffled and angry. I began throwing stones and breaking things. He pulled me hard into a room by my arms. I must take my belt off so he could beat me. Sadness and fear filled me. I had no desire to do so. He left at last. As a result of these experiences and other actions, I developed a strong sense of faith and became quiet and fearful around people. It was horrible how they bullied me. It was unclear to me why. I thought I was wrong. I let them do it in peace. No one was there for me when I needed love, support, or advice. I fought for acceptance and changed to fit in. It was hard. I had no idea I was mentally ill. I genuinely believed that was my destiny. A deep despair filled me all of a sudden. I felt guilty when I sought help. It was all in vain. It was a hard and hopeless life. I was finally able to retire early. Since I went down a dark path with foolish, uncaring people, it all was a secret. Indeed, there was no love, a shaman told me. I was not allowed to pleasure women. Thus, an Indian who looks calm is seen. In their company I'm sure I can find joy. Living freely, easily, calmly, and humbly, they were contented. They were calm, helpful, kind, and protective; they displayed zero signs of fear, stress, or frustration. The keyword love is still the most important thing in my life, since it supports and symbolizes the cutest, gentlest, and truest humans.

Artwork Size & Ink Base:

Size: 46 x 63 cm.

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Jasper

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